I met Steve Taylor at the worst time in my life.
We began a conversation about truth, and how to help me say things I had never said. but needed to.
This conversation has extended (off and on) over nearly a decade. and has been one of the most important conversations I have ever had.
I am disclosing the bones of it here.
I like to pretend I was never suicidal.
People around me like to pretend too.
They say "well if you didn't do it, you didn't mean it“.
There was no sympathy (just empathy) in this counselling relationship; I didn't like him much, but I needed help.
Life had failed me, and I had failed life.
I trusted no-one; it took a year I think for Steve to gain my trust.
I suppose he worked at it, and I suppose I was too desperate to not trust someone.
I ended up in Steve's ofﬁce in total breakdown, born out of a lifetime of never saying ‘no', living in co-dependence,
suffering cluster migraines, an over the counter codeine prescription addiction, a water bottle permanently full of
gin as my companion, high risk encounters in isolated places, from a family of high Christian expectations, standards and performance.
I was tired, so very, very tired.
By not living my milestones with integrity of heart, my heart had collapsed on itself, and I had to stand up and live
everything with courage to deal with what life brings.
In brief, I had to grow up in my identity.
So I dried out; I volunteered to help others; l travelled; I lived alone for the ﬁrst time in my life; I exercised; I lived
overseas for a time, and even survived a serious sexual assault.
In all of these new experiences, I came to love life, I came to love being alive, and to love me, just as I am.
I am now unafraid to be afraid.
I am just me as I am; I love my life, and I experience a higher power with no judgement.
I remembered the possibility of goodness: I remembered me, and I began to live a life that was true to my identity.
Steve was there with me all the way through.
With integrity, patience, trust, and belief, Steve never gave up on me even though I had given up on myself.
I am completely grateful to Steve for his help, and I consider myself very fortunate to have been dragged back into life,
interrupted, and stopped from stepping towards death.
Steve made the journey with me, and with patience he waited for me to trust both him and myself.
I reluctantly let him help me; I wanted no one to help me, yet I did.
Steve helped me shift from the identity of who I thought I should be and the heaviness that gave me, to the identity
I have now, which is a much lighter burden to bear.
I am sixty two years old and just beginning to know accept and love life.
In this age of suicide and depression, I am certain I would not be alive today without Steve's help.
What Steve has to say comes from real life, not a textbook, and every word has been formed out of integrity, compassion and hope, because Steve seems to intuitively know what it is for people to be without these things, which to me made and makes him entirely credible as a helper to those in need.
So Steve... Thank you.
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Stephen holds an applied Post-Graduate Diploma in Applied Social Practice (Unitec), a degree in Counselling (Weltec), a degree in AOD Addiction (Weltec), and a Diploma in Career Development (NMIT).
Stephen offers an Integrated Counselling Service via face-to-face, telephone, or online service delivery to individuals, couples and families, within a Client Directed, Outcome Informed approach to measuring client outcomes for every session
Please see the practice methodology links
in the 'ABOUT US' section of the website for
RML provides a Zoom online service Relationship Matters clients. A webcam and reasonable broadband lSP supply are required by clients for this service option.
Whether you are considering a new career, navigating a career shift, or are experiencing a career crisis, RML can assist you to navigate this critical area of your work life. Stephen holds an NZ Diploma in Career Development from NMIT and can help clients navigate a range of job, employment, and career issues.
Relationship Matters custom designs seminars, training, and workshops for a wide range of clients. See the 'FAQ' section of the website for
MEDIATION & MACKENZIE FRIEND SERVICES
There is an opportunity to avoid costly legal fees, multiple court hearings, and adversarial conflict: that opportunity is Mediation.
Having an independent third party assisting in the negotiation of a conflict is most useful when the two or more parties concerned cannot have a conversation about anything without the conversation turning nasty, spiteful, or cruel.
The Relationship Matters Mediation service sets strict guidelines and boundaries for parties to a negotiation, to ensure that the problem remains the problem, as opposed to the people becoming the problem.
Stephen is an experienced Family & Relationship mediator and has also acted as a Court-appointed Litigation Guardian, Mckenzie Friend, and successful self-represented lay litigant in the Disputes Tribunal, Family Court, District Court, High Court, and Court of Appeal of New Zealand, resulting in parties successfully reaching a settlement, and thereby avoiding the time and expense of a stressful and often unwelcome Court Hearing.
Please contact Relationship Matters
for further information.
CLINICAL & PRACTICE COACHING
If you are an Agency or Private Practice Counsellor looking to positively develop your practice confidence and competence, improve your client outcomes and increase your practice referrals, RML offers private Clinical coaching and Practice mentoring services to assist Agency & Private Practice Counsellors to achieve these goals.
Employer Workplace Assistance (EWA) is a psycho-social workplace support service for employers, and currently supports a number of small to medium businesses, with a specific (and growing) niche in the owner-operator trading space.
Please see the FAQ section of this website for more information.